I see you. You’re a woman in your 30s or 40s (or maybe older or younger!) and you’re in the kind of career people dream about.

You’ve climbed the ladder. You’ve got the promotions. You’ve built the LinkedIn profile. You’ve made it.

Maybe you’re in middle or senior management at a well-respected company. Or maybe you work at a shiny new startup with ping-pong tables and Slack channels.

You’ve got the salary. You’ve got the title. You’ve got the responsibility.

But there’s just one small problem:

You’ve lost the will to fucking live.

The Job Looks Good on Paper… So Why Does It Feel So Empty?

Everyone around you keeps telling you how lucky you are.

“You’ve made it!”
“You’re smashing it!”
“You’ve got such a good job!”

Your parents are proud. Your friends are impressed.

But you?

You fucking hate it.

You wake up and instantly think about the five client meetings in your calendar. You know that there’s a 35-slide report you have to present to the SLT today. The endless stream of busywork that means nothing and moves nothing. What is it all even for? Every day is different but so mundanely the same.

But like a good girl, you zip up your MacBook, slide into your sensible-yet-chic ballet flats, grab your overpriced oat latte from the drive-thru (the only bit of joy you allow yourself), and drag yourself into the office.

You sit at your desk, fake a smile, open your inbox, and sigh.

Is It Just Me? (Spoiler: It’s Not)

Every email makes your chest tighten. Every meeting invite that pings through feels like flapping in your ears. And every fake "Hope you're well!" in your inbox just chips away a little more of your soul.

You start to fantasise about things you never used to:

Waking up without an alarm and going for a walk

Listening to the birds in the morning

Enjoying a full, hot coffee and actually tasting it, instead of chugging it before the next meeting

It’s not that you’re lazy. You’re tired. But more than that. Your soul is tired.

You’re not ungrateful. You’re just fucking done.

The Problem With Gratitude Culture at Work

Every time you express even a whisper of dissatisfaction, someone pipes up:

“Well, at least you’ve got a job in this economy.”
“It can’t be that bad though.”
“You love the job really!”

And for a moment, you believe them.

Maybe they’re right. Maybe this is just what life is.

Maybe you should be grateful.

But I say: Fuck. That.

“You Should Be Grateful” Is the New “Shut Up and Smile”

Women 60 years ago could only dream of the careers many of us have today. So it almost feels like a slap in the face to say to those ladies “sorry girls, this isn’t for me”.

But just because we can climb the ladder doesn’t mean we have to die on it.

You’re not ungrateful for wanting more freedom, more joy and more life.

You’re not ungrateful for wanting peace.

You’re not ungrateful for looking at your current situation and thinking, “This just isn’t it.”

So What Does Ungrateful Even Mean?

Gratitude means feeling thankful and showing appreciation.

Being ungrateful, then, means not showing appreciation for something.

But to be honest, you can be grateful for something and still want it to change.

You can appreciate your salary, your stability, even your coworkers, and still know that this isn’t the life you were meant for.

The Real Cost of Staying Stuck

Here’s what your job might give you:

A paycheck
Health insurance (if you’re in the US; lol UK girlies)
Status
Permission to utilise some of your life, if the company says it’s ok, of course (aka PTO, or Annual Leave)

Now here’s what it takes from you:

Your time (the only thing you never get back)
Your mental health
Your energy
Your creativity
Your family and relationships
Your peace

You’re swapping your most priceless asset, your time, for a salary and a job title which doesn’t actually mean anything.

And the longer you stay on the ride, the more expensive the return ticket gets.

It’s Okay to Want Something Different (Even If Your Life Looks Good to Everyone Else)

Your desire for change doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It also doesn’t necessarily mean that you want MORE. It just means that you want change and a deeper meaning of life.

That might not come in a job title. That might come in the form of exploring yourself further. It might come in the form of helping others. It might come in the form of travelling the world.

You’re starting to question what you’re here to do. Who you’re here to become. What kind of life you want to build on your terms.

So if someone ever tells you you’re being ungrateful, here’s your new mantra:

Smile. Nod.

And keep going anyway.

Give Yourself Permission to Pivot

You’re allowed to want more.

You’re allowed to feel burnt out by a “good” job.

You’re allowed to dream bigger, softer, freer.

Gratitude doesn’t mean settling. It means appreciating the past while choosing your future.

And if no one else gives you permission to pivot.

I just did.

Permission to Pivot: Why Wanting Something Different Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful